Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
