I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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