fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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