So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
