I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
