That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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