I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize