brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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