Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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