I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She announced her abortion via fbk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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