i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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