Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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