you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
