You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am naked and annoyed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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