check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
