My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
