my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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