we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
