dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
