i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
