get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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