im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
