people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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