Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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