My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
