Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
