The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
