Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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