Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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