Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
