he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
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I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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