I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
