in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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