whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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