When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have fence marks all over my body
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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