I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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