she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
