This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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