Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
