Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
