Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
