i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
