Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
