i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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