absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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