barbara walters just said penis...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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