"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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