Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
