I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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