the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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