I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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