Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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