sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
