So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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