I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
