Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
