Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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