One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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