remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
