Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
