dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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