Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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