Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize