I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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