Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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