***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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