yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
