Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize