Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
