is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
