ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
