look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?