How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's always time for handjobs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once