Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.